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Assumptions are mental shortcuts, but they often distort reality.

Expecting the worst can feel protective but, in fact, it may harm connection with others.

CBT helps us question anxious thought errors, such as mind reading and fortune-telling.

Curiosity and checking facts can replace harmful assumptions.

Co-authored by Lea Nguyen, MHC-LP, and Amy Vigliotti, PhD

Assumptions are the stories we tell ourselves to fill in the gaps when we don’t have complete information.

Our brains are wired for efficiency, so assumptions serve as mental shortcuts. In many ways, this ability helps us move quickly through the world. It’s much faster to jump to a conclusion than to slow down and analyze every complex social situation around us.

Sometimes, assuming the worst functions as emotional protection. If we expect rejection, betrayal, or abandonment, we feel less blindsided if it happens. These patterns often stem from anxiety, attachment insecurity, or relational trauma. In this way, negative assumptions can feel protective; it’s as though the brain is preparing us for pain before it arrives.

The problem is that what feels protective in the short term can quietly undermine connection in the long term. Since assumptions feel like facts, they can both shut down curiosity and interfere with our ability to relate accurately and openly with others. So, we stop asking questions, and........

© Psychology Today