The Fundamentals of Sex

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In sexual wellbeing, the obstacles we face are largely internal, not external.

Feeling good is not the same as creating change.

Rather than abandoning visualisation altogether, the evidence suggests refining it.

I remember seeing Jim Carrey talk about how his life was built by the belief that he could create his own reality. When he’s on a screen, he’s pretty hard not to watch, so naturally I was intrigued. At the time, I was mid-studies and deeply embedded in learning the scientific method. I had questions, but like most things consumed quickly online, the clip faded and I didn’t think much more about it.

Until recently. Manifesting has become a daily theme in my social feeds and in the online sexual wellness space. I am regularly seeing advice encouraging people to visualise the sex life they want—to imagine themselves confident, turned on, and deeply connected until that vision becomes their reality.

Armed with more evidence this time, I can tell you that there are decades of research showing that imagining a desired future can generate positive emotional states. This is true. Visualising “your best life” can boost mood and create a sense of hopefulness. That good feeling you get, and the........

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