The Parenting Trap With Comments About a Child’s Weight
Take our Family Estrangement Test for the Adult Child
Find a Family Therapy Therapist
Weight comments can increase risk for disordered eating and potentially eating disorders.
Who in the family makes the weight-related comment can deepen its emotional impact.
Prior research largely grouped "family" together, whereas a new study identified the impact of specific roles.
Hoping to be helpful, have you ever said something similar to the following to your kid, teen, or adult child?
“Are you sure you want to eat that?”
“You’d feel better if you lost a little weight.”
“I’m saying this because I care...”
If “yes,” you are so not alone. You are, in my opinion, part of a beautiful club of caring parents trying to make a positive difference and help their children feel good or safe in the world.
Our culture tends to pair and prioritize thinness and health—as if they are prized paths to reachable safety (e.g., from medical ailments and from bullying). So it’s no wonder many well-intended parents and family members voice concern about a child’s weight or eating. They’re meaning to be helpful, but it boomerangs, becoming associated with increased risk for the very struggles and problems the family member was trying to prevent, such as disordered eating patterns including binge eating, body image struggles, emotional distress, and poorer coping outcomes (Hooper et al., 2021; Wu et al., 2026).
To show you what I mean, here’s a real-life example from my colleague, Jess Hudgens, LPC, LCMHC, ASDCS, NCC:
I had grown up hearing affectionate, if not teasing, comments about my eating patterns. I even took some pride in being referred to as “the human garbage disposal.” So I knew the comment about needing to watch what I ate as I grew older wasn’t malicious. It wasn’t even about me; it was a cautionary tale about someone my dad had gone to school with, a girl who was mocked for her weight. But that didn’t........
