Let's talk about the £948.01 pine box. What’s so special about this pine box? Perhaps it comes with some rare Pokémon card nestled inside. Maybe it’s the most durable, nuke-resistant pine box ever sold on the market. Or maybe, simply, it has the name Beyoncé on it.

Yes, for the low price of a month’s rent and utilities, you too could own Beyoncé's new "Bey Keeper" - a solid-pine crate built to store vinyl records that, notably, do not come with any.

Five hundred numbered units, priced at what seems to be a cute nod to the singer’s birthday, 9/4/81. Those more familiar with the manufacturing of pine boxes have cost it about £30 to make, with the other £900-plus turning out to be quite a tidy profit margin for the now-billionaire.

And the parasocial side of the singer’s fanbase, the Beyhive, has already deployed. This is an investment, something exclusive that appreciates. Nothing says "I love this artist" like buying an empty box and hoping she dies so it's worth more. The more likely destination for this luxury storage crate is landfill or charity shop novelty in the coming years, but future foresight is non-existent to those fans who believe everything Beyoncé graces her name with turns to gold.

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