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The Hater’s Guide to the 2026 World Cup

20 0
14.06.2026

The combination of FIFA’s bottomless greed and America’s current authoritarian-lite atmosphere was always going to make for a strange World Cup this year. (Sorry, co-hosts Mexico and Canada, it’s not your fault.) Even so, the degree of avarice and hostility in the run-up to the tournament exceeded most people’s worst expectations.

First, a dose of positivity: The U.S. team’s spectacular win over Paraguay on Friday was a joy to watch, and now that the World Cup is reaching full swing, everything the Trump administration and soccer’s governing body have done to hijack the world’s most egalitarian sport is being shoved into the background. Even before the U.S. win, it wasn’t all doom and gloom, despite FIFA’s and the president’s best attempts. There have been genuinely endearing stories of foreigners visiting a Buc-ee’s, trying ranch dressing or experiencing tailgating for the first time, or seeing the folks of Lawrence, Kansas become huge Algeria fans — some of the best little things about America.

But a true hater won’t let things go that easily. As the low-stakes, 17-day first round continues, and in honor of the older, better World Cup format (32 teams versus a now-bloated 48), here are 32 reasons why this World Cup is much more of a drag than it had to be.

1. The whole war thing

History in the making: This is the first World Cup where a host nation is currently at war with one of the participants. On Wednesday, President Trump bombed Iran, and though a peace deal may (finally) be around the corner, he may also let loose on the country once more. Remember this next time you hear someone say on TV that soccer unites the world.

2. It’s not just the war

The U.S. also isn’t missing an opportunity to harass Iran’s national soccer team. Though Iran’s games take place in Los Angeles and Seattle, they had to move their training camp from Arizona to Tijuana, Mexico, for safety and visa reasons. The U.S. also refused to issue visas to several Iranian team staff and recently revoked the team’s entire ticket allocation for its fans.

3. (Un)welcome to America

The lavish hospitality continued at our nation’s airports last weekend, as U.S. officials denied entry to a referee from Somalia and numerous media members from African nations; detained an Iraqi forward for seven hours at the airport; and kept the Senegal and Turkey teams sitting in chairs on the tarmac while frisking them and inspecting their bags. If the U.S. team were treated this way abroad, we’d go to war (again). FIFA’s response to everyone complaining about the U.S.’s treatment of foreign players, officials and fans? “Chill, relax.”

4. Extortionary ticket prices

There were hopes that ticket prices would come down dramatically as the games approached — and they have on gamedays — but the average remains above $500 even for low-demand matches (like, say, the mouthwatering clash between Switzerland and Qatar). And if you want to go to the final? Don’t even ask.

Okay, then: The final’s ticket prices are averaging $10,000–$15,000, with some VIP sections going for $3.2 million. You know things are bad when Trump makes sense: Even he thought $1,000 tickets to the United States’ opening match, on Friday against Paraguay, were too high. “I wouldn’t pay it either, to be honest with you,” he said last month.

6. It’s not just fans who have to shell out

Host cities are on the hook to cover millions of dollars in expenses. This is the first World Cup for which there is no organizing committee, which means host cities aren’t........

© Daily Intelligencer