The listless “failson” of one family worth at least a half-billion dollars publicly divorces his family to be adopted across the pond by another dynasty worth three times as much. The “failson” in question does not have any actual career to speak of; his photography book only lives on thanks to internet memes lambasting his blurry snaps of fellow socialites, and his attempt at a cooking show was canned after each episode required six figures and 62 professionals to publish.

In other words, absolutely nobody would be talking about Brooklyn Beckham’s Instagram tantrum heard across the Atlantic if his parents weren’t Sir David and Lady Victoria Beckham, the soccer sensation and pop starlet, respectively, who created a Generation X empire of endorsement deals, Netflix content, haute couture, investment deals, and philanthropy. In fact, absolutely nobody would care about Brooklyn Beckham if not for his ancestry.

Now that the younger Beckham, 29, has found a second meal........

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