Forget Margot and Jacob, this is Wuthering Heights, MAGA-style

March 8, 2026 — 10:30am

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Eat your heart out, Emerald Fennell. You may have the alluring stars Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi cavorting on the moors in your crimson adaptation of Wuthering Heights, but for radioactive romance, you can’t beat Washington.

Emily Bronte’s Cathy and Heathcliff are selfish, manipulative creatures, destroying each other and all around them as they indulge their passions and egos. But their damage was kept to one wind-swept village.

With MAGA’s version of Wuthering Heights, the far less alluring but equally intertwined Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski have been cavorting over the swamp, scandalising the capital as they’ve spread their cruelty far and wide. (To Lewandowski’s credit, he didn’t try to kill a dog like Heathcliff did. That’s Noem’s department.)

Holiday Barbie, as Robbie’s Cathy has been dubbed for her ostentatious dresses and hairstyles, pales in comparison with the costumes and Rapunzel extensions of ICE Barbie. Imprisoned in her marriage to Edgar Linton, Robbie’s Cathy gleams in elaborate gowns and necklaces. But Noem topped that. When she went to see migrants in prison in El Salvador, she sported a baseball cap with an Immigration and Customs Enforcement logo — and a gold Rolex Cosmograph Daytona worth $50,000.

Like Heathcliff,........

© WA Today