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Everything You Were Too Embarrassed to Ask About Anal Sex

Your shame-free (and mess-free) guide to anal play. From anal training to Pavlov-ing, here’s what you need to know.

By Gigi Fong | Reviewed by Ysolt Usigan

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Anal sex is one of the most highly searched sex terms on Google, yet if you let social stigma tell it, no one is putting things up their ass. With stigma comes a lack of education leaving you with a growing fear of tearing, shitting on your partner, and ending up in the ER. For example, did you know that there’s good pain and bad pain? Exactly. Preparation (as in, anal training) is essential for any pleasure back there. Here’s what you need to know in order to dabble in anal safely, while also learning what feels good for your body.

What Is ‘Anal Training’ Exactly?

Anal training is the slow, intimate process of stretching your asshole to enjoy anal comfortably. Whether your goal is to have safe anal sex without tearing, or to have your first prostate orgasm, anal training can help with that. 

The process involves using anything from fingers to butt plugs and anal training kits with progressively larger plugs to help you open up. The best part? Anal training counts as foreplay as it’s getting your body ready for more, so the process can feel really good as you explore. Now, the goal here isn’t to achieve a gaping hole. Instead, think of anal training as practice for anal play. Your body may never like an orifice back there, or it may love it. I repeat, the goal is exploration. 

how to prepare for anal sex

Best Lubes for Anal Sex

Your butt doesn’t get wet on its own, so it’s going to need the help of lube. Water-based lubricants are safe with all condom types (yes, even those non-latex condoms) and your silicone sex toys like silicone butt plugs. However, silicone-based lubricants are best for anal play as it’s thicker and lasts much longer. The thickness of silicone lube gives you a better slip back there, so penetration feels even better and doesn’t cause tearing. Silcone lube can also be used for any condom type, too.

By far, the go-to lubricant for anal play is Überlube’s silicone-based lubricant. It’s silky smooth, which not only gives you a good slip for each stroke, but it also just feels great sensory-wise. It’s the little things, ya know?

Überlube Silicone-Based Lube 55mL/1.86 fl oz (opens in a new window)

Überlube’s luxury silicone-based lube is a fav amongst every niche community for that very reason. Whether you’re a kinkster, cancer survivor suffering from dryness, or trying anal play for the first time (or all 3), you’ll love this. My favorite is that a little goes a looooong way. It looks sleek,........

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