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Why You Can’t Stop Fantisizing About Your Ex, Even Though You’re Married

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01.05.2026

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Why You Can’t Stop Fantisizing About Your Ex, Even Though You’re Married

Your brain may be replaying an old relationship because of attachment, nostalgia, or something missing in your present life.

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Everyone has an ex they still think about. Maybe it’s a dream, maybe it’s a song, maybe it’s just a random Wednesday afternoon. Your brain has some explaining to do.

According to a Columbia University study, pretty much everyone thinks about an ex at some point, with women reporting more frequent and emotionally vivid thoughts. Oh, and 60% of married people admit an ex crosses their mind more than it probably should. So there’s that.

According to Hannah Jackson-McCamley, a London-based psychotherapist and member of the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy, the brain is largely to blame. “When we fall for someone, our brains build strong neural pathways around that person and the habits we develop while we’re with them,” she says. “These pathways are incredibly powerful, and our bodies release feel-good hormones........

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