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Why Breaking Up on Good Terms Can Be More Painful Than a Messy Split

When a relationship ends without drama, you can find yourself grieving both the person and the life you built together.

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There’s no one to be furious at after an amicable breakup, and that’s almost worse. No cheating, no spectacular betrayal. You still think your ex is a great person, and you’d really prefer to hate them for a little while.

And when the relationship was actually good, you’re mourning much more than the person. Research on breakups has found that when a partner introduces you to new interests and experiences, you can feel like you’ve lost something about yourself when they’re gone. Psychologist Gary Lewandowski has also found that people leaving unhappy relationships sometimes experience the opposite. They feel relieved, rediscover old interests, and enjoy having their lives back.

Why Some of the Hardest Breakups Are the Ones Where Nobody Did Anything........

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