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Rated and Slated: Things We Hate and Love Online This Week

Good news: the “new cocaine” has finally arrived. Bad news: your cat might be sissifying you in the sexual marketplace.

By Adam Christopher Smith and Adam Christopher Smith

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Welcome to RATED AND SLATED, the column that is terminally online so you don’t have to be.

Last time I gobbled up a fistful of magic mushrooms, I became obsessed with something I’d read online about how if you spent a minute in another person’s brain it would be as disconcerting as landing on an alien planet. 

The great news is there’s absolutely no need for an entheogenic rocket ship. Now, all you need to do to experience astronaut ESP is to pick up someone else’s phone and look at their Instagram “for you” section.

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This reel, sending up Kareem Rahma’s SubwayTakes, suggests that we should all be forced to spend at least an hour in another person’s algorithm. A surprisingly good joke for something made by the BBC (promoting the new Top Comment podcast).

Incidentally, the BBC was where I was working at the time of the aforementioned psychedelic excursion. I’ve now escaped from that particular psychic ravine, which is probably for the best—my social media feed is too weird for someone employed by a public broadcaster. On the upside, that means I have an endless supply of provisions to help sustain you throughout the next bad trip.

I am going to reduce my drug use by moving to Drug City with my close personal friend Mr. Drugs https://t.co/uP27nNwHIL— Y'alldabaoth (@FadedAfRuatha) August 2, 2026

I am going to reduce my drug use by moving to Drug City with my close personal friend Mr. Drugs https://t.co/uP27nNwHIL

Sure, Drug City might not boast the best life expectancy but, per capita, its undoubtedly home to the highest number of musical geniuses in all of human history. Those joyless podcasters moaning about how every drop of alcohol takes you one step closer to grave could do with paying it a visit sometime. At the very least they might think of something better to do with all those........

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