My son, a fervent young conservative, called me a neocon today, a label that leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

I get it, though, at least a little. I supported the goal of Operation Epic Fury, which I suppose could be kind of "neocon" of me − sometimes American national interests abroad must be reinforced with military force. That said, I have had questions about President Donald Trump’s war with Iran, especially after top intelligence officer Joe Kent resigned March 17, citing his disagreement.

And especially now that the war is already in its fourth week.

On March 23, Trump said the United States had engaged in "very strong talks" with Iran that could signal the end of this hopefully brief conflict, but Iranian officials denied participating in peace talks. I can appreciate the importance of deploying a smoke-and-mirrors strategy during wartime − and I don't trust Iranian leaders or media – but hopefully someone behind closed doors knows the truth. Most of all, Trump.

It's clear to me that Iran's nuclear capabilities pose a threat to America and other allies. How to handle a country with nuclear potential, and to what degree of threat that poses, is where we all differ.

What's also clear is that Trump must now exit the war quickly and decisively as soon as possible. We should end it for the reason we started it: to benefit Americans ‒ especially our kids. Even the ones who think all conservatives are neocons.

What is Trump's objective in the Iran war?

Trump has threatened to "obliterate" Iran's power plants if it doesn't reopen the Strait of Hormuz by March 23. Iran responded by attacking Israel and other Persian Gulf states.

The president is treading on dangerous ground, especially if he is serious − and not just bullying Iran as part of a strategic move. Deliberate attacks on essential infrastructure are potential war crimes. It raises questions for me about the goal of this war and how the United States is implementing it.

Is the goal to cripple Iran's nuclear capabilities or wipe out the entire population? Is the goal regime change or destabilizing Iranian citizens? I can't think of anyone, conservative or liberal, who would agree with the latter.

More and more, Operation Epic Fury is less and less mirroring the Pentagon's successful operations in Iran in June and Venezuela in January ‒ those were quick, decisive and lethal. Trump campaigned against "forever wars," so he must find a good exit or risk both severe real-world consequences − gas is $3.62 in Texas − and long-term loss of precious political capital, just ahead of midterm elections in November.

Is Iran an ego-driven war or an America-first war?

I'm not the only one who is confused about what's happening.

Americans are more confused about the Trump administration’s goals now than when the Iran war started Feb. 28, according to a new CBS News/YouGov survey published March 22. About 68% said the administration had yet to clearly explain the goals of attacking Iran, more than a previous survey conducted at the beginning of March.

The war in Iran is starting to hit Americans at home, too. New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof estimates that it's costing more than $1.3 million per minute. Yikes.

Gas prices are up everywhere, too. Short-term price hikes for long-term peace with a country that has significant nuclear capabilities is a small price to pay, but Americans' patience is shorter than it used to be.

Based on extensive conversations with my son, who is against this war going on for weeks, months and years, I'm surprised at polling that suggests 61% of young conservatives under 30 support it. I guess they're just too young to remember the horrific cost of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Do they really support a full-on conflict with Iran or just Trump? We already know young conservative men are more pro-Trump.

The first strike of Operation Epic Fury a few weeks ago seemed intense, focused and successful. I supported that. Now, threatening to obliterate Iran's energy infrastructure seems dangerous and desperate. That doesn't sound like Trump is looking for an off-ramp; it sounds like he is escalating things so that a country we claim has nukes sees America as an enemy for life. We shouldn't fear Iran, but if they're unstable, we should govern ourselves accordingly.

The bad thing is, it's not clear what's driving this conflict ‒ Trump's ego or his campaign slogan, "America First." The good thing is that one would think that either motive would drive Trump to want to tie up this war now as quickly as possible. He must. For his ego, or innocent Iranians, but most of all for us ‒ former neocons and our kids ‒ the war must end soon.

Nicole Russell is an opinion columnist with USA TODAY. She lives in Texas with her four kids. Sign up for her newsletter, The Right Track, and get it delivered to your inbox.

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