People are celebrating the mutually beneficial role childless ‘aunties and uncles’ play in raising kids
There’s no doubt that the role aunts and uncles play in a child’s life is important. Typically, these are the people who are raising the cousins that often serve as your child’s first best friends. But many Millennials are part of a growing group of adults opting not to have children.
Instead of raising their own children, they’re leaning into their childfree status and the additional bandwidth it affords them. “Rich auntie” status is not new. It’s the endearing nickname given to women who chose to forego children to maintain the lifestyle they worked for. It replaced the more derogatory term of “childless cat lady,” which replaced “spinster.”
Though the idea of a childless aunt or uncle isn’t new, the prevalence is. This phenomenon was once so rare that it caused speculation around sexuality and sanity. Clearly, there must be something wrong with you if you didn’t have children. Today, people are celebrating the mutually beneficial role childless adults play. Not only do they bring fun and adventure to a child’s life, but they also serve as a trusted babysitter for a much-needed evening out.
It’s not only the kids and parents that benefit, but the childless adults also gain. TikToker Amanda Vanhook says, “I’m very much single, no interest in dating, none. And I’m very happy that way. I’m very happy in my life.” Later, she adds, “I’m also very fortunate that I had a sister that gave me two little crazy hooligans, my four-year-old nephew and my two-year-old niece, and I would not change that for the world because they are the light of my life.
@amanda.vanhook We love our babies and we also love our own life #auntie #niece #nephew #single #solo ♬ Morning Bossa Nova – Bossa Nova Terrace
We love our babies and we also love our own life #auntie #niece #nephew #single #solo ♬ Morning Bossa Nova – Bossa Nova Terrace
I would go above and beyond, go over the moon, and wouldn’t even blink an eye for those two. So I get the best of both worlds. I get to spoil myself, treat myself whenever I want, and enjoy my quiet time life, but I also get my nuggets, who I want to spend all this time with. I want to show them the world, I want to show them the great things of life.”
Adults remain childless for a variety of reasons. Struggles with fertility, not finding the right partner, or simply not having the desire to raise a child full-time are some of the most prominent. No matter the reason for being child-free, though, the mutual benefit of those without kids having close relationships with those who do have them shouldn’t be understated. One family has a tradition they’ve shared online for others to see. Since their aunt doesn’t have children, instead of Mother’s Day, they created a special day just for her called “Auntie Lynn Day.”
Every year, the family gathers for a cookout complete with decorations and a cookie cake, declaring it “Auntie Lynn Day.” It’s a day filled with love and smiles, acknowledging how valued her role is in their family.
Another woman, Jillian Gerhardt, explains the importance of having childless friends who double as aunties and uncles to your children. “Every parent needs a childless auntie or uncle friend. They’re not real aunts and uncles, but they’re that friend that shows up smelling like independence and freedom.” She advocates that their role is vital to remind parents who they were before they had children, to keep them grounded in their sense of self.
@jilliangerhardt Millennial parents all have that childless auntie and uncle friend! #parentsoftiktok #millennialparents #auntiesoftiktok ♬ original sound – Jillian Gerhardt
Millennial parents all have that childless auntie and uncle friend! #parentsoftiktok #millennialparents #auntiesoftiktok ♬ original sound – Jillian Gerhardt
Mike Mancusi, a childless uncle, makes an argument for those on the fence about becoming a parent. “Anyone that’s on the fence about having kids or not having kids, I’m going to propose to you a third option, and it is by far the best option–being an aunt or an uncle. It is the best. It’s all of the good parts of parenting and none of the bad parts.” He adds, “You get to hang out with these kids, you get all of the joy, all the endorphins, and then as soon as they start being annoying, you just get to hand them off to the people that are legally required to take care of them.”
The consensus of the childfree aunts and uncles is that they get to be the fun-havers. They come in like a superhero to either give parents a break while they spoil them, or rile the kids up right before bedtime. Either way, they get to go home or drop the kids back off with their parents when they’re overstimulated.
@mikemancusi Being an aunt or an uncle is a fantastic alternative to spending your life debating kids or no kids #nokids #childfree #parents #parenting #uncle #aunt #family #nephew ♬ original sound – Mike Mancusi
Being an aunt or an uncle is a fantastic alternative to spending your life debating kids or no kids #nokids #childfree #parents #parenting #uncle #aunt #family #nephew ♬ original sound – Mike Mancusi
Parents who appreciate the childless aunties and uncles celebrate what they bring to their lives. Childless aunts and uncles appreciate that they get to share parenting with their sibling or friend without the full-time responsibility. It’s a win-win-win. A win for the parents, a win for the childless person, and a win for the kids.
“The DINK, Auntie and Funcle life is really underrated,” one person says. DINK stands for Dual Income No Kids.
@zuncle82 ♬ original sound – AP
♬ original sound – AP
“It really is the best option. Also, when they become teenagers, they only fight with their parents and have a great relationship with you and ask for your advice and will listen to you,” someone writes in response to Mancusi’s video.
An adult child reveals, “My Auntie is my favorite human. 42 years later that woman is my go to for just about EVERYTHING.”
Someone else adds, “Childless auntie here! My besties kids are my world. My weekends are spent at soccer games, cheer games, etc and then I get to go home at night and read my book in silence. Someday we will build a compound so they can just walk to my house whenever lol.”
When asked to describe what Tanzania smells like, Grace Isekore closes her eyes and breathes in deep. For a moment, she’s somewhere else entirely. Tanzania is a rich tapestry of sights and scents, from the smell of sea mist that permeates the coastline to the earthy cardamom and cloves she cooks with in her kitchen. But when Grace emerges from her reverie, her answer is unexpected.
“Tanzania smells like peace,” she says, her eyes still closed. “I see a beautiful country where we are free to move, free to speak. And there is peace within the community.”
For Grace, that sense of peace isn’t just something she smells; it’s something she works toward every day. As a project coordinator with Pastoral Women’s Council (PWC), a women-led organization that empowers pastoralist communities in northern Tanzania, she has seen firsthand how girls flourish when they have the opportunity to attend school. Like scent, education not only connects girls to their own culture, but also helps broaden their horizons, realizing new possibilities for themselves and others. That transformation reshapes entire communities and ripples outward, with the potential to change countries and transform the world for the better.
Different scents, different approaches, and communities driving change
For Grace and others around the world, education is freedom, as well as a pathway to a stronger community. Rooted in that shared belief, Pura, a home fragrance company, was inspired to build on their four-year partnership with Malala Fund to create something truly unique: a fragrance collection that connects people through scent to communities in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil, where barriers to girls’ education are among the highest.
Using ingredients from each region, the new Pura x Malala Fund Collection uses scent to transport people to these regions directly. “Future in Bloom,” for example, invokes Pakistan’s lush valleys through notes of jasmine, cedarwood, and mango; while Tanzania’s fragrance, “Heart on Fire,” evokes the spirit and joyfulness of the girls who live there through cardamom, lemon, and green tea.
The new Collection honors the work Malala Fund does every day, partnering with locally-led organizations in these four countries to ensure every girl can access and complete 12 years of education. Each scent celebrates the joy, tenacity, and courage of the women and girls driving change on the ground, while also augmenting Pura’s annual grant to Malala Fund by donating eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection to Malala Fund directly.
Just as each country’s scent is unique, so too are their needs related to education. But with support from Malala Fund and Pura, local leaders are coming up with creative ways to mobilize entire communities (parents, teachers, elders, and the students themselves, in their pursuit of solutions, understanding that educating girls helps everyone thrive. Here’s how their efforts are creating real, durable impact in Tanzania and Pakistan, and creating a ripple effect that changes the world for the better.
Parent-teacher associations help Maasai girls and their communities in Tanzania problem-solve
Northern Tanzania, Grace’s home, is home to pastoralist communities like the Maasai, a nomadic people who have moved with the seasons to nurture the land and care for their livestock for centuries. The nomadic nature of this lifestyle creates significant and unique barriers to girls’ education. Longstanding gender roles have enabled Maasai to survive in the harsh environment and have placed great value on both women and men. Over time, as nomadic life has been threatened by the privatization of land and stationary education models have been implemented, the reality of pastoralist livelihood has shifted and introduced new complexities. Now, the sheer distance to schools is both a practical challenge and one that often comes with danger from the landscape, predators, and potential exposure to assault along the journey. Girls shoulder the responsibility of household chores and there is often cultural pressure around early marriage – both leading to boys’ education being prioritized over girls’.
“There are very, very good [pastoralist] cultural practices, which are passed from generation to generation,” says Janet Kimori, an English teacher at Lekule Girls Secondary School in Longido, Tanzania. But when cultural practices act as educational barriers, “you have to sit down and look for where you are going to assist. As a school, as an individual, the school administration—all of us will chip in and know how we are going to deal with this problem.”
PWC works to ensure girls are able to exercise their right to an education while also preserving pastoralist culture. One successful approach, the organization found, has been the formation of Parent Teacher Associations (PTAs), created with help from Malala Fund. In PTA meetings, students, parents, teachers, elders, and government officials meet, discuss educational barriers, and come up with community-led solutions that preserve and honor their culture while advancing educational outcomes.
One recent PTA meeting highlights how these community-led solutions are often the most effective. At Lekule Girls Secondary School, the lack of fresh water forces girls to walk long distances to collect water for the school’s kitchen during the school day, and these long journeys not only disrupt class time but can leave girls vulnerable to sexual assault in isolated areas. Through facilitated discussion, PTA members landed on a solution: installing a borehole to pipe in fresh water to the school. Reliable access to water creates a better learning environment for the girls, but it also benefits the community at large, as local governments are then more likely to invest in health clinics and other community resources nearby.
With a solution in place, the PTA was then able to discuss ideas and map out a course of action. The women would raise money for the cost of the borehole, while the men would recruit workers to dig the hole and lay the pipe. Together, they would ask government officials to match their investment.
The benefits of PTA meetings within the pastoralist communities are undeniable. “The girls are talking and addressing issues in a confident way, and parents feel they are part of the resource team to solve challenges happening at school,” Grace says. One unexpected benefit: The larger cultural impact these PTA meetings have created. Thanks to the success of PTAs within pastoralist communities, the models are now being endorsed on a national level, and schools across Tanzania are starting to use them to solve problems in their own communities. When a community creates opportunities for girls to learn, everyone benefits.
Safe spaces in rural Pakistan help students and their parents connect, then drive change
A continent away in Pakistan, the country’s northernmost region of Gilgit-Baltistan seems like a land untouched by time. The region’s looming mountains, snow-capped peaks, lush valleys and crystalline lakes draw nature lovers and landscape photographers from around the world, but living among this kind of breathtaking scenery has its drawbacks. Schools in the region are few and far between, and the area’s harsh climate often makes roads........
