As more research comes in about how our minds are wired, patterns emerge, and diagnoses like ADHD help people make sense of how they process information. Many of these patterns only present themselves later in life, but learning about them helps us understand why we are the way we are. It also helps us find ways to course-correct, whether we’re adults or parenting a child.

In a viral clip making the rounds on social media, former The Daily Show host Trevor Noah interviews psychologist Dr. Kristin Carothers for his podcast What Now? with Trevor Noah. Noah is fascinated, as many of us are, by the idea that the ADHD brain functions differently. He says directly, “For the most part, for ADHD brains, arguments are fun.”

@trevornoah Why ADHD Brains Actually Love to Argue ♬ som original – Trevor Noah – Trevor Noah

Why ADHD Brains Actually Love to Argue ♬ som original – Trevor Noah – Trevor Noah

Coercive cycle of interaction

Carothers affirms this can be true, labeling it a “coercive cycle of interaction.” Noah repeats the phrase back to her, and she smiles, adding, “You are reinforced by your coercive behaviors, and this is what we teach in behavioral parent management training.”

She goes on to note, “In behavioral parent management training, the first step is to teach parents about the coercive cycle of interaction and how their kids are reinforced to continue arguing because they eventually get what they want. And parents are reinforced to be more punitive because they eventually get what they want.”

‘Positive opposite behavior’

Carothers explains how this behavior pattern, learned as a child, can carry into adulthood:

“So when you’ve done that as a child with your parent, and then you get into a relationship, you’re like ‘I can prove that I’m right. I can get you to see that the way I’m thinking is the way you should be thinking.’ Just continue to engage in this spiral until you win. And the other person is pissed, and they give up.”

Noah shares that a person with ADHD can often be tenacious. Carothers agrees, stating, “The ADHD person can keep going a lifetime. And you’ll be like,........

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