Three Laws for Going On Living When Life Breaks Apart

I was walking with Yohanita through the park near the Museum of Fine Arts in Antwerp.

There, once again, we saw a group of Ukrainians gathered together.

Whenever Yohanita sees them, something inside her grows sad. Not people talking in a park. She sees families torn from their land, lives cut short, homes that may no longer exist — people forced to build a new existence while part of them goes on living in the place they had to leave behind.

—What would you do in a situation like that?

Her question broke something open in me.

I did not need to construct a complicated answer. I answered her directly, trying to hold in a few words something that, for me, governs every life that is truly awake.

I told her I would try to live under three laws.

They are not laws only for Ukrainians.

They are laws for any human being whose life has been broken by war, loss, illness, separation or a transformation there is no coming back from.

First law: Letting go

There are moments when going on living demands that we accept the reality we knew before is simply gone.

Letting go does not mean forgetting.

It does not mean ceasing to love the land, the home, the language, the dead, the life one once had.

Nor does it mean declaring that what happened was just.

It means no longer demanding that the present become the past again.

While a person remains completely bound to what they lost, part of their strength will keep trying to rebuild a door that may no longer open onto anything. That part will not be available for........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)