Words can betray us. I learnt this from the philosopher, Dr Tanya White, as she introduced her series on The Work of Becoming: Jewish Resilience through Biblical Narrative. 

We are blessed with language to create order from chaos, to express the inexpressible. But words often cannot fully portray the depth of what we feel or what one has experienced. 

When family and friends in Israel share about their current reality, they sometimes use the words “tough”, “challenging” or “very challenging”.

To those of us living over 2,000 miles away, these words cannot convey the depths of their painful reality, which I will betray with the following two dimensional sentences:

The sons, husbands, fathers, called for duty yet again

The wife waiting for his call

The mother and father worrying about their babies

Hiding in a bomb shelter

The children restrained from their outdoor play

The patient awaiting surgery while sirens alarm

The inability to work

Hiding in another bomb shelter

The teachers teaching throughout 

The multiple midnight wakes

Today, our brothers and sisters in Israel are carrying heavy bags for our nation, enduring the physical and emotional hardship of this existential war. 

“When one Jew is injured, all Jews feel the pain” Rabbi Sacks wrote, quoting Rabbi Shimon bar Yohai. And as Mihal Bitton put it “Our task is to channel this pain into unwavering and committed action, to either join the battle in our own way or to hold up the hands of those who are fighting”.

It is written in the Talmud  that כל ישראל ערבין זה לזה – All of Israel are responsible for one another. So, how can we, Jews in the Diaspora, thousands of miles away, practically and meaningfully support our extended family – who are carrying the bags not only for our nation, but for the world, during this great war? 

“The question is not how to pretend the distance isn’t there. The question is how to build something strong enough to hold us together across it.” Mijal Bitton writes.

There are small things that we can do each day to bridge the physical distance between us. Here are some ideas, inspired by conversations with people I’ve met and projects I have been touched by:

“L’attention est la forme la plus rare et la plus pure de la générosité.” 

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity,  Simone Weil, the French philosopher, wrote in 1942.

Many of us in the Diaspora carry a quiet anxiety about the war. We deeply care and our hearts are with our people. Many of us may put our attention towards checking the news frequently. Perhaps it offers some kind of psychological lessening of the physical distance. Many say tehillim together, sometimes in the form of large WhatsApp groups made up of hundreds of people.

At the same time, many of us may hesitate about reaching out to both our close and more distant acquaintances in Israel, worrying about disturbing them in the midst of such a difficult time. Or, perhaps we tell ourselves that they are resilient, that they are managing. 

But our people are living through the trauma of war – something that most of us, from the comfort of our homes, cannot truly imagine.

A simple message, a phone call, a voice note, can send the important reminder that: We are with you, even though we are miles away.

“Before Shabbat, check in with five people you know in Israel. Put reminders in your calendar to check in every few days. Not a news check – a personal one.” Mihal Bitton writes.  

Reach out. Your message matters more than you know.

“More than kisses, letters mingle souls – for thus, friends absent speak.” – John Donne (c. 1597) in a letter  To Sir Henry Wotton. 

Although we live in a world where international communication can take place instantly, physical letters can achieve something that the transient nature of the digital cannot. 

A physical letter represents the time, thought and presence given by the sender. It can be held, folded, tucked into a pocket or placed on a bedside table – and taken out when words of support might be needed. 

With minimal organisational skills needed, we can each take out a pen and paper and write a message. 

Who will you write to first?

Put together a care package 

“For so many centuries, the exchange of gifts has held us together. It has made it possible to bridge the abyss where language struggles.”  – Barry Lopez, About This Life. 

Putting together a care package is a simple act that can say a great deal. Some ideas: A favourite tea, a carefully chosen book, a colouring book for a child, chocolate, photos. And tell them its coming so that they can look forward to receiving it!

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees” – a quote attributed to Amelia Earhart, American aviation pioneer (1897–1937).

Last year a family in London created a special project, inviting their community to write letters to wounded soldiers. Another invited the community to bring together thoughtful gifts to help children with their fathers in service to take their minds off the war. Another organised for coats to be sent for those in need. 

Creating an initiative makes it easy for your connections who already want to contribute, to do so. Even if you don’t have a contact on the ground, someone who you know will. 

Share your strengths 

“The work we have to do can be seen as a kind of coming alive – a releasing of our gifts” –  Joanna Macy and Molly Young Brown, Coming Back to Life (2014)

Our strengths grow from being shared. An online workshop – from yoga to history to coaching – is an opportunity to channel your expertise into a gift to someone else.

“The art of gathering begins with purpose.” – Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering (2018). 

An event centred around learning can be a powerful way to bring people together. It need not be complicated. Invite a speaker, share a skill, play an instrument, or cook up a new meal together with friends.

A Purim talk hosted at a friend’s home became a fundraiser for Yad Ezra V’Shulamit, which is feeding hungry children in Israel. 

An Iraqi cook book launch partnered with UJIA to raise funds towards ReGrow Israel, a project dedicated to helping rebuild farming communities devastated by October 7th. There I gained an insight into the many meaningful projects that UJIA initiates in support of Israel. 

This May, a friend alongside a team of 14 from her community, will be trekking to Everest Basecamp to raise funds for Shevet, which provides rehabilitation, therapy and support to injured soldiers left with life-changing disabilities.

A challenge you take on is an invitation for others to stand behind you, and behind those who need it most. From the emergency response teams at Magen David Adom and Hatzola to Hadassah, the JNF, UJIA, Meir Panim, Beit Halochem and many, many others – there are organisations working around the clock, doing more than we know to support Israel in this time.

Give the gift of a clean home 

The Talmud records that when Rabbi Akiva learnt of a sick student who went unvisited, he went to see him. Upon seeing his home neglected, he personally cleaned the space. As a result of his attention and care, the student recovered. (Nedarim 40a).

A clean space has the potential to transform energy. The Chamal Har Nof project is helping mothers with husbands in Miluim who are struggling to balance survival and look after children by offering “cleaning hours” to lift the spirit of their homes. 

“Remember the days of old, consider the years of ages past” – Moses’ final song to the Israelites, Deuteronomy 32:7. 

Here Moses urges the Israelites to remember their story, as the foundation for understanding who they are and how to live going forward.

In a time where misinformation is a heavy weight in everyone’s bag, it is our duty to learn about our story, both ancient and recent. 

There is no Hebrew word for history. That is because it is ‘his story’ – another person’s story, not our own.

Instead, we have Zikaron, memory. We can each do more to deepen our understanding of our past, and in turn share it with others. Some ideas for reading include A History of Israel, by Howard Sachar,  My People by Abba Eban, and Rabbi Sacks’ Future Tense. 

As Rabbi Sacks emphasised in his book, Morality, it is “We the People” –  us as individuals who have the ability to make a difference.

So, let us come together to bridge the distance between ourselves and help those who are bearing the weight of defending the future of our nation.

Because hopefully, as David Matlow writes: “When we each do something in support of Israel, the nation is stronger – and the country will be too.”

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)