Exhaustion. Confusion. Stress. Fatigue. Here’s a short war reader for concerned friends not lucky enough to be in Israel right now.

Exhaustion – from round-the-clock intrusions that begin with an alarmingly loud honking sort of noise coming from every single phone in the house that seems to increase in volume in the nanoseconds that it takes to hit the ‘ok’ button; that’s the ten-minute warning that there might be incoming missiles in your neighborhood: “Missile warning, possible alarm in the next few minutes”. This may or may not develop into a full-fledged local missile attack, for which you then have blaring sirens from the various loudspeakers positioned in and about your street. If so, you’ve got 1.5 minutes in most locations around Israel to take cover – i.e. run for your life to the nearest bomb shelter. Again.

Spend about twenty minutes to half an hour, til the all-clear signal – in your own safe room with various relatives in varying states of undress, often depending on the hour; or at a local public bomb shelter with total strangers who may actually have become like family over the past few days. Some nod in recognition, some hide in their oodies (www.oodie.eu/collections/oodies), scroll through their phone or engage in observations like ‘where do you think it landed’ or ‘how accurate do you think the missiles are’.. Again.

Listen for the boom or booms, try to figure out where it landed and shuffle back to ‘normal’ life or back to bed for a nap, your choice.

See you next round. Maybe by then we’ll have figured out that putting your phone on airplane mode circumvents the loud buzzing that is scarier than the missile itself. But I digress.

Confusion – What day is today? What is on my calendar to get done? Called around to check on the now-adult kids today. And on the aging parents who probably have decided to stay put each time the sirens roar, rather than to run to the stairwell and pretend to feel safe while waiting out a missile attack (see above). Have enough cleaning supplies for optimistic Passover prep? – check. Food supplies to make dinner for at least ten – yep. But wait – what was I thinking of doing next? Where did I put my phone? Computer charger? And how long will this day go on?

Stress – We worry about our own safety. And if we’ve gotten used to the interruption of regular life with sirens, endless laundry & dog-walking for the daughter who went to visit friends – think again. Stress is always there, lurking in the background like an unwanted guest and showing up when you least expect it. Just ventured out to the store, or put on walking shoes to enjoy the fresh air and beautiful blooming wild flowers of an oncoming Israeli spring day? Think again – the blaring sirens have turned you back to shelter and war-like thoughts. So you stay put. Again.

Those who have loved ones in the military (who here doesn’t) have an additional type of stress, one that comes with the constant worry and nagging in your own head that something isn’t right. Oh yeah, it’s the feeling that I cannot shake, that my beautiful child has taken up a heavy weapon and gone to bring down the enemy responsible for some of the deadly missiles threatening our homes. No communication because they turned in their cell phones at the border? No worries. You’ll get a message once a day from the unit’s social worker that the gang is all right. Thank God. Not that it doesn’t help, but waiting for that message can be agony – the stress is at an all-time high while you wait to be told that your son survived the overnight battle and now you may commence with your daily schedule. Til the next day. Repeat.

Fatigue – Not to be confused with exhaustion, fatigue shows up in a surprising way, just when you thought you might have it together for one day. This is a culmination of the daily activities above. It may creep up on you with ‘I need a nap’, or running the other way to avoid the dishes piled up in the sink, to simply sitting on the couch wondering what’s next.

~ And now for resilience. We are a people of the book, of belief in the long run, with the patience to wait out our enemies with faith and tenacity. So what can we do when the daily grind of war hits?

There are two types of actions we can all take: One, go outside of yourself and reach out to others; two, look inward to get strength from your own moral compass.

One – Turn to the people around you, up close or far away, who love and care about you. Share how you feel with a listening ear, or don’t. Just make sure to get some good old human contact and know that you are not alone. You might even find that it helps to keep your mind off yourself and on others. Try organizing food or sports equipment for the IDF unit stationed in your community for the duration of this war. Call a friend who might be lonely and lost, with a smaller support system than yours. Our community is our strength, and giving is the best activity.

Two – Listen to the voice inside each of us, the one that Rav Kook called the spiritual essence of our Jewish identity. Rav Soloveichik describes Jewish fortitude as rooted in the transformation of passive suffering (‘fate’) into active, purposeful existence (‘destiny’). Our people is unique and we are lucky to live in this historic time, the beginning of the redemption. Each of us has a part in bringing this about so next time you find yourself on the couch with worry or exhaustion, try to learn the weekly Torah portion or listen to a lecture to remind yourself that you are, indeed, lucky to be here.

I know I am. _____________

May God watch over our brave soldiers and keep them safe, bringing decisive victory and peace for our nation. 

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)