“The Revolution will not be televised,” or so crooned Gil Scott Heron in 1971. This so-called “Revolution,” though, was not charging $2,500 a ticket for a place in the cheap seats. As far as the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) is aware, aside from the cost of the occasional cobblestone or a Molotov Cocktail, admittance to Mr. Scott Heron’s Revolution was otherwise free of charge. Furthermore, any looting that occurred in this Revolution was committed by these same free-loading attendees.

For the impending 2026 FIFA World Cup, conversely, the looting is being committed by the event’s sponsors. To say that tickets for World Cup matches cost “an arm and a leg” is to overstate the value of these sometimes useful appendages. At the end of the day, they are only appendages. The cost of World Cup tickets is more akin to “chest cavity and soul.” The goniffs of FIFA are hard at work to strip as much disposable income from the gullible footballing masses as possible. The only silver lining in this is that, unlike the aforementioned Revolution, the World Cup will be televised.

Before getting into Group A, let’s address several preliminary issues.

First, a brief recapitulation of the ZGWC’s mission statement: the ZGWC wants the friends of Israel to succeed in their endeavors. Conversely, the ZGWC wants the enemies of Israel and the Jewish people to suffer wherever possible in whatever........

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