If you’ve made it to these words and are seeing them, you may want to ask yourself how it all came to pass. Where do you hang out so that you have access to it? Has it been something you were searching for, naturally arrived at, or just by happenstance? The fact that you have stopped to focus on these few lines already proves one thing: you have the ability to focus.

I would argue that the biggest cause for losing focus is access to other things. For example, a person who wishes to get over an addiction, whatever that addiction may be, will have a harder time remaining loyal to the goal of leaving it behind if that person still has access to the very thing they are trying to escape. The door isn’t completely closed as long as you still hold the key in your hand.

I’ve heard someone say that air is the deadliest addiction, since science has proven that anyone who has removed themselves from it for just a few minutes has died. I would argue that this is only because the context of addiction is usually used when it produces a detriment, whereas air accomplishes great benefit. But think about it. It truly doesn’t make a difference what it is. If we are constantly drawn to it by a force stronger than our will, we are living an addiction of sorts. Maybe not a bad one, but the properties of addiction take the reins.

Someone who is madly in love with another won’t see the obvious, as the Midrash (Bereishit Rabah, Va’era 55:8) states, “Love spoils the ordinary.” The power of addiction is that when the mind reawakens to this thought, the heart instantaneously goes into overdrive and fuels plans to achieve this desire. All kinds of tactics seem acceptable to the mind of the infatuated, and nothing will stand in the way of this burning will. Except you.

The access doors must be shut and the key thrown into the Dead Sea. It is no wonder why the Mishnah (Avoda Zara 3:3, and many other areas) tells us to throw all prohibited objects into the Dead Sea, since it is the place where the numbingly addicted Sodomites were left to die. In order to rid oneself of addiction, we must take a few steps in order to prevent ourselves from repeating those same mistakes over and over again.

The first step, of course, is not up to us. As we started, the fact that you are reading these words, that alone is the will of Hashem at this moment in your life. And as you are up to these words, you have already proven that focus is something you can do, since whatever thoughts usually take hold of you are now at bay. The first step is Hashem, and He opens up our doors. For this reason it is very important that we educate our children to be aware of reading signs in life so that when they are given a chance by Hashem they will know to notice instead of walking it off.

Which leads us to the second step. In order to keep focus we need to create a vision of where we are headed. What do we wish to accomplish? Over the many papers we’ve written on this topic we’ve already discussed how to find purpose. That burning question every young man has when it comes to career paths and the totally nerve-wracking feeling we deal with before every large choice and risk, all of those are indicators to the will inside of us. We simply have to ask ourselves, “Why do my emotions flare when I face this specific topic? Why does time fly by when I indulge in specific works?” All of those emotions are like a sliding scale that indicate how close or far you are from the will of your soul.

By knowing that, we can narrow it down and build a goal that will take our hearts to our true purpose. And just like everything in the world, the goal isn’t attainable just because we said we wanted it. It takes work. And the larger the goal is, the larger the vigor and drive must be. The greatness of the cause must be met with that amount of energy, if not more. And if the goal is a happy marriage, it will take a tremendous amount of energy to raise the family and keep the peace until death do us part. And if the goal is business, it will need dedication and leadership as well to bring the burning will to reality.

But how can we stay focused day in and day out? Well, if we follow the path we took until now and learn from addictions of detriment, we will learn how to create addictions of benefit. What does a bad addiction have that keeps waking us up to it? Triggers. The one with an eating addiction will smell the chocolate danish just by seeing the grandson of his hometown baker. The one with a smoking addiction will reawaken theirs even as they hear someone clearing the phlegm from their throat. And the worse the addiction gets, the more and more areas will have the ability to reawaken that heart pump. For this reason it is imperative that all access doors be shut and tightly sealed. This is not to say that there are no other ways to achieve it when the mind goes crazy and wild, but at least it will be delayed and there will be more time to make the right choice.

So now, what is left for us to do as we are looking to remain focused on our goals is to create anchors all across our lives that will reawaken this emotion in our heart. Which emotion? The emotion we spoke about a few paragraphs ago as we spoke about finding purpose. Once we identify that feeling, create a vision, and start walking the path, we must create triggers to awaken this feeling over and over again. For example, the over-eater has a goal to reach 210 pounds. The first anchor would be simple. Each time they see the number 210, be it an address, a telephone number, a license plate, a time on the clock, or the price of the chocolate danish, they will be reminded. And so on. Find things that you look forward to once the goal is reached and start looking for them in all different ways and styles right now.

In short, this is the work of Nekiyut, focus. With the work of focus we don’t concern ourselves with things that aren’t serving our goal. We have to be aware of what goes on in our mind, be quick enough to act responsibly, and know what responsibilities to accept and what to delegate. I used to say that many people reach Zrizut and stop, but I’ve come to realize that there are many steps to building a world. And focus, although not a physical step, is necessary for the entire business to retain its stability.

The next step is naturally Perishut, which with my current far vision I can see a person sitting wrapped in his Tallit and Tefillin all day long. I know that there is a long way until that step becomes my focus, but until then it is time to focus on focus.

The person with the Nega is afflicted with a heavenly punishment. The way for it to be removed is only through true repentance and inner change. It is hard, since we tell ourselves, “one more cookie and the diet starts tomorrow.” But when we live with the mindset of the Metzora who is forced to do something about it right now, we quickly come to appreciate the wake-up call and the message received. We need to wake up and see the world for what it is. It is a story filled with stories, as we climb from story to story.

LemmerHypnotherapy.com

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