In Israel, Jewish life felt public, welcoming, and alive; in Montreal, it has felt guarded, costly, and closed.

There is a difference between being alone and being excluded, and as Pesach approaches, I am feeling that difference sharply.

What I miss is not only Jerusalem itself, although I miss Jerusalem deeply. What I miss is the religious life I had there, the way Shabbat and the holidays were lived not as private events for the lucky, the connected, or the well-off, but as part of the air itself. In Jerusalem, Jewish life was not hidden behind closed doors. It was everywhere. You felt it in the streets, in the greetings, in the quiet before Shabbat, in the singing from synagogue, in the fact that everyone around you seemed to be moving toward the same sacred time.

Shabbat in Jerusalem was the highlight of my week. I loved Kabbalat Shabbat services, the singing, the familiar prayers, the feeling that the city itself was changing. I loved going back for Shacharit in the morning, then standing around at kiddush, talking, listening, lingering, with nowhere more important to be. I loved the afternoons too, when people were out walking in the neighborhood, and the whole area seemed to move at a different pace. There was something deeply comforting about that rhythm. Even when I spent much of Shabbat on my own, I did not feel abandoned. I still felt part of Jewish life.

That is what I miss most. Not that I was constantly invited out. Not that I went to meals every week. I often did not. Sometimes it was enough to go to services Friday night and Shabbat morning, go to kiddush, stand around and talk, and know that if I wanted more, there were options. There was often seudah shlishit somewhere else. There were holiday meals. There were people who opened their homes. The point was not that I took every opportunity. The point was that the opportunities were there. The door was open.

My synagogue in Jerusalem, Shira Hadasha, did not know me when I first came, yet they welcomed me. I was a newcomer, an olah, someone without family there, and that did........

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