There were many times I wished my mum would die.

They were mostly when she was crying out in pain in the last two months of her life, her body withering from the ravages of that damned cancer and the light in her eyes gradually dimming. But however fervently I wished that it would all end quickly, just as she did, I was in no way prepared for what a hole her death would leave in our lives, and what pain those left behind would suffer as a result.

Nicole Kidman accepts the international star award for Babygirl during the 36th annual Palm........

© The Sydney Morning Herald