You don’t need to see my bank account to know I’m truly middle class

October 17, 2026 — 5:30am

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According to recent research, you can determine whether someone is middle class on the basis of their wealth.

If you have net assets of between $300,000 and $900,000, you are middle class. If you have between $900,000 and $1.6 million, you’re upper class. And if, by freakish circumstance, you have assets of over $1.6 million, then you are part of “the elite”.

Well, not so fast. I think being middle class is more a matter of attitude than simple cash. Let me count the ways.

1: When leaving a motel I take three teabags and all the soap, but leave one teabag and a sachet of sugar just so the housekeeper doesn’t think I’m cheap.

2: I have never joined a queue. I’ll try the place down the road.

3: I have never bought a new piece of technology on the day of its release. (See above, I have never joined a queue.)

4: I’d rather eat a burnt steak than complain to the waiter.

5: I’d rather eat raw risotto than complain to the waiter.

6: My main fear about dying is being the centre of attention at my own funeral.

7: I’m wealthy enough to study the share tips in the Australian Financial Review,........

© The Sydney Morning Herald