Every June, rainbow flags appear, organizations post messages celebrating Pride Month and communities reaffirm their commitment to inclusion and celebration of LGBTQ identity. Those gestures matter. But for too many LGBTQ Jews, especially those raised in Orthodox spaces, Pride Month can also raise a painful question: Am I actually welcome here?

As a straight ally working for JQY (Jewish Queer Youth), an LGBTQ Jewish mental health organization, I’ve spent years listening to queer Jewish teens describe how they experienced their communities growing up and what would have helped them feel more fully seen and supported within them.

Too often, the answers suggest how much work remains to be done.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned from working at JQY is that allyship cannot be assumed. It has to be visible.

One particular memory has stayed with me. I was having a conversation with a participant at JQY’s Drop-In Center shortly after I returned from parental leave. We were getting to know each other, they were asking me questions about my pregnancy and family, then suddenly stopped and said, “Oh, you’re straight?”

What struck me wasn’t the question itself. Instead, it was what came next: the participant’s genuine confusion and surprise that someone who wasn’t queer would work in a queer space, advocating for queer people.

This revealed something to me: For many queer Jews, support is still unexpected. Showing up for queer people is often treated as an exception when it should be the norm.

As Jews, we understand this instinct. In times of rising antisemitism, we........

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