It’s peak wedding season, and my own divorce is waiting on a judge’s signature. People are being congratulated with Dutch ovens and serving bowls for dinner parties they may not ever host.

Marriage comes with an etiquette system for asking people to help build a home. The registry says the embarrassing part for you. Divorce deserves the same grace.

Meanwhile, I was standing alone in my new-to-me condo kitchen, rereading a text I had drafted to my mother, trying to make quartz countertops sound like a normal thing to need.

“Would you and Fred consider making this my birthday, Christmas, divorce and condo-warming gift?” I wrote, referring to the countertops and single-basin sink I had been fixating on. I attached a screenshot of Calacatta almond quartz, as if the visual aid might make the request seem less unhinged.

The price point is why I piled on the occasions. But I am a 44-year-old man with a mortgage and two dogs, so “birthday and Christmas” was not really the headline. Divorce was.

My mother’s response was not yes.

“Your stepdad and I are in the ER. I can’t think about this right now.”

Fair. Terrible timing, but the shame had been there before she even replied.

It’s hard now to imagine a wedding without a registry, but that etiquette had to start somewhere. Marshall Field’s, the Chicago department store whose State Street flagship is now a Macy’s, is often credited with introducing the modern bridal registry in 1924, when the list helped couples steer family and friends toward china, silver and crystal patterns. A century later, couples don’t even have to pretend they want china. Home funds are now........

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