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Celebrate our 250th anniversary with a new, more accurate name: United Scammers of America

15 0
28.06.2026

Storm clouds surround the Washington Monument on June 14 and that was even before the author suggested it be replaced. 

For the 250th, the United States should give itself something better than cage fights or triumphal arches.

A new name: The United Scammers of America.

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First, we keep the acronym USA, preserving our unbeatably jingoistic chant for world sporting events.

Second, the name revels wonderfully in dishonesty. “United” remains a lie — Americans are divided, badly — which makes this a perfect union of name and country. A scammer country’s title should be scammy.

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Finally, the new name allows us to escape endless historical debates — America is a beacon of freedom! America is a land of oppression! — and embrace the beating heart of what this country has always been:

A paradise for ripping people off.

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The same cultural traits in which Americans take pride also create fertile ground for fraud. Our optimism makes us trust those we shouldn’t. Our individualism means that we’re often alone, thus easier prey for fraudsters. And our entrepreneurialism turns us into suckers for new schemes. 

Hunger for opportunity and........

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