Most people keep their Easter expectations pretty modest: some pastel candy, a chocolate bunny, maybe even one that doesn’t taste like it was made during the Cold War.

But Ukraine’s former ambassador to Germany, Andrey Melnik, has decided that this is the perfect time to send the Easter Bunny – also known, apparently, as incoming German Chancellor Friedrich Merz – a list that reads less like holiday funsies and more like a NATO procurement form.

“I am a realist and have no illusions as to whether you will take up one or more of these ideas. Or even none,” Melnik wrote in an open letter published by the German newspaper Die Welt last week. “But Easter is approaching. We are celebrating the resurrection of Christ, who overcame death on the cross. And we can hope for a miracle.”

Alright, so what exactly is on this audacious list? A Ladurée Macaron or Fabergé Egg? A five-star Easter getaway to the Alps complete with Easter brunch?

Not quite.

Melnik apparently wants Merz to get cracking on getting Ukraine 150 Taurus missiles the day he’s expected to take office as chancellor on May 6. We’re talking the kind that can hit deep Russian targets, like the Crimean bridge that Merz keeps obsessing about openly. Melnik also wants 30% of Germany’s current inventory of fighter jets. But why stop there? Spoiler alert: He........

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