Heading into Doom: The Dark Ages, I thought the game being a prequel to the 2016 series reboot would make a good entry point for the series. Despite enjoying high-octane first-person shooters, Doom and its 2020 sequel Doom Eternal somehow never landed on my radar (although I will defend the so-awful-it’s-good 2005 film and its first-person-shooter sequence). So I entered The Dark Ages, something of an origin story for the Doom guy and his crusade against the forces of Hell, ready to gorge the lore and push through the series.

After completing its roughly 10-hour, 22-chapter campaign, I can definitively say: That shit doesn’t make any sense.........

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