When Fred from Toronto, and his wife Rachel, stepped off the ferry onto Saint-Pierre et Miquelon, a tiny slice of France anchored just 25 km off the coast of Newfoundland, he was deeply offended.

First, his phone immediately switched to a more expensive European data roaming plan. 

Second, everyone was speaking French (though most people switched to wonderfully-accented English when needed). 

Third, his beloved Canadian icon was missing.

“Where’s the Tim Hortons?” Fred demanded of a local gendarme.

The officer explained that there were no fast food restaurants anywhere on St. Pierre. 

“That would be an insult to French cuisine,” the gendarme sniffed.

Miffed, Fred descended upon a traditional French café. He ordered a “triple-triple and a toasted everything bagel.” The server offered him a delicate espresso and a pain au chocolat. Fred scoffed, pulled a contraband packet of yellow mustard from his pocket, and........

© Peterborough Examiner