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Broadway has completely run out of new ideas — next they’ll be putting me back on stage

Same old songs ’n’ dances

Everything old is told again. Movies, TV, stage — nothing new. We’ve had and had and had “Cabaret,” “Chicago” forever, “The Music Man.” Next will probably bring a stuffed Rudolph Valentino doing it with a straw Elizabeth Taylor while a chalk version of Humphrey Bogart sings “Give My Regards” to a wax likeness of Shirley Temple. Applauding will be Joe Biden — from the toilet.

There is now — at this moment — a just opened show. Not new as in new. Not just recently created. New as in so what? As in an old antique ancient senior aged yesteryear bygone dusted-off dead juiced-up gone down resuscitated reproduction from the 1980s titled “The Lost Boys.”

We’ve had Shakespeare every 20 minutes. By now King Lear maybe abdicated and bacon got added to “Hamlet.” Alright already with rerereproducing “Othello” and “Romeo and Juliet.” Although Willy’s done nothing lately, even........

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