When I hear the words "hosepipe" and "ban" in the same sentence, my blood boils.

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It boils hotter than the weather has been in this country over the past couple of weeks. And that is saying something.

A hosepipe ban, on its own, might sound sensible enough. We’ve had hot weather and little meaningful rain. Of course, we all understand that water is precious and that in dry spells we need to be careful. Most people are not unreasonable. Most people will do their bit. But what sends people over the edge is being told to conserve water while they can actually see it pouring away down their street.

I live on a hill, and for several months of the year there is effectively a stream running down the road. Not in a poetic, picturesque sense. Not some charming little brook. A stream caused by broken pipes and leaks. You leave the house in the morning, there it is. You come home in the evening, there it still is, babbling away as if this is the most normal thing in the world.

And then, every now and again, the problem gets much worse.........

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