I have not used my hosepipe yet.

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I came this close yesterday, though, almost in a fit of pique. At the bottom of the road I live on, there was a massive mains burst that lasted for more than two days. It sounded like a raging river.

Gallons and thousands upon thousands of gallons of water were pouring down the road, creating a literal spout of water and then, at the bottom, a small lake that nobody could make any use of.

Why it took two days to fix, I don't know. I am not sure they turned up quickly enough in the first place. But I would be very interested to know why it took so long.

I was tempted to go over there with a bucket and say: "Excuse me, mate, could you give me a bit of that?"

Because while all that water was pouring away, we were being told to save it.

The pressure in my area has been terrible as a result. My shower is basically spitting at me rather than giving me a full dose of water. And no, I don't stand in........

© LBC