By Syed Nissar H. Gilani

A few years ago, I translated Sir Francis Younghusband’s 1908 book Kashmir into Urdu. The project became a labour of love and later received the Maulana Abul Kalam Azad Award from the Uttar Pradesh Cultural Academy. 

During that journey, I spent months immersed in Younghusband’s observations of Kashmiri society. Many passages continue to resonate with me. One observation, in particular, has returned to my mind repeatedly.

Younghusband described Kashmiri Muslims as hardworking family men deeply devoted to their wives and children. 

Marital disputes appeared infrequently, while divorce occupied almost no place in social life. 

Kashmiri Pandit families displayed similar stability, nurturing households with remarkable commitment and care. Family served as the emotional, economic and social centre of existence.

Whenever I revisit those accounts, a troubling question emerges: What happened to that culture of mutual devotion?

Three recent stories continue to haunt me because each captures a different aspect of the answer.

One concerns an elderly woman living in a high-end senior care home in New Delhi. Another concerns her former husband, who spends his remaining years in a spacious apartment in Pune with only paid attendants for company. The third concerns a young mother of two whose life collapsed one morning when she opened a newspaper and discovered that her husband had been arrested for a horrific crime.

Spanning different generations, these stories are united by a common theme: the growing isolation that now pervades family life.

Many discussions about marriage focus on the younger generation. Such talks usually point toward changing expectations, expanding opportunities and shifting social norms. Those changes have transformed relationships in important ways.

Education and global exposure have strengthened individual confidence. Ambition has expanded, while personal identity occupies a larger place in people’s lives. 

Those developments have enriched society in countless ways,........

© Kashmir Observer