D-listers are ten aplenty on Cameo, the platform where fans pay celebrities to create short video messages on demand. Less common, for reasons that are about to become glaringly obvious, are the leaders of British political parties.

But for as little as $50, you can get Didi Conn (AKA Frenchy from Grease) to wish your mum a happy wop ba-ba lu-bop birthday or get Inbetweeners star James Buckley to call your brother a “briefcase wanker”, and you’re spoilt for choice if you’re a fan of retired footballers or Bravo reality stars.

Politics fans have fewer Cameos to pick from: In a sea of AI-generated Donald Trump and Kamala Harris impersonators, Nigel Farage is one of the few real-life politicians taking offers. For the princely sum of around £78 and upwards, you can pay the Reform leader for a personalised birthday message, a pep talk, or whatever your heart desires; 24-hour delivery is guaranteed. Thanks to these services, Farage has reportedly raked in at least £374,893 since he joined the platform.

So what is Farage willing to say for money? Quite a lot, as it turns out. According to an investigation from The Guardian,........

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