An NCAA Coach Went Viral for Screaming at a Player. The Lesson Isn’t What You Think

The much discussed moment between NCAA coach Brenda Frese and star player Oluchi Okananwa is a communication lesson for all of us. 

EXPERT OPINION BY JESSICA STILLMAN, CONTRIBUTOR, INC.COM @ENTRYLEVELREBEL

Head coach Brenda Frese of the Maryland Terrapins in Indianapolis, Indiana. Photo: Getty Images

Regular readers of my column will know I am not much of a sports fan. Which is why I generally leave it to my better informed colleagues to cover the likes of March Madness. But when I recently read about a viral video of NCAA coach Brenda Frese yelling and getting in the face of her player, Oluchi Okananwa, it struck me that the story wasn’t just fascinating for basketball fans. 

The viral incident is a perfect illustration of an important truth about communication that just about anybody can use to improve their working life. 

Is this NCAA coach a bully or an inspiration?

The moment happened during Monday’s game between the fifth-seeded Maryland Terrapins and fourth-seeded North Carolina. It wasn’t going well for Maryland (they went on to lose 74-66) and Okananwa was a big part of the problem, missing free throw after free throw. During the third quarter Frese had plenty to say about it to her star player.

You can check out exactly what happened here. 

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The close quarter screaming and finger pointing doesn’t look great. Many of the 23 million or so people who watched the video probably thought they were seeing a coach losing her cool and resorting to bullying and insults. But as The Athletic reported, all was not as it appeared to be. 

The video isn’t what it seems

First, when you understand what Frese was actually saying, things already look more positive. “I believe in you,” Frese was apparently yelling, “but you’ve got to want this moment!”

There is also important backstory to the incident. When Okananwa transferred from Duke to Maryland last year, she arrived with a specific request for her new coach: 

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