The words “incels,” “alpha” and “manosphere” never crossed Abby Eckel’s mind when she was pregnant with her two sons. Now that the boys are 8 and 10 ― on the cusp of their teenage years ― keeping them away from the manosphere is sometimes all she and her husband can think about.

“It’s literally the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, because I have to be, I feel like, ready 24/7,” Eckel, an online content creator, told HuffPost. “I have to remain vigilant every moment I’m around my sons.”

The manosphere ― a dark rabbit hole where YouTubers and bro podcasters mask their misogyny in self-help, fitness tips and “pickup artist”-style dating advice ― offers young men a sense of community and purpose. The message that women are lesser beings and that you’re being denied your rights to sex or a relationship is particularly potent for boys who feel ignored by mainstream society.

Eckel and her husband monitor the boys’ online activity. They keep the lines of communication open and try to steer them toward healthier models of masculinity. But there’s little they can do to stop the influence of other boys who’ve been radicalised online.

“The hardest thing is that the largest influence is not parents, it’s their friends,” she said. “We’re trying to raise them to be leaders and empathetic, but then they walk out of this house, and society is working overtime to undo that.”

She can’t control what the kids’ friends watch or listen to: The shy friend who starts to identify as an incel, building his identity around his perceived inability to attract girls at school.

Or the loud friend who, looking for dating advice, stumbles upon a clip from Andrew Tate ― the kickboxer turned popular male supremacist podcaster who believes women are a man’s property and that rape victims should “bear responsibility” for their sexual assault. (In spite of facing multiple criminal charges of rape and human trafficking in both Romania and the United Kingdom, Tate’s mainstream influence is growing, thanks in part to his being platformed and supported by the likes of Tucker Carlson and Donald Trump Jr. Barron Trump, the president’s 19-year-old youngest son, is also reportedly a fan.)

Influencer Andrew Tate, pictured here at a UFC event in Las Vegas, is a leading figure in the manosphere, a collection of online spaces focused on men's issues and masculinity.

Countering all of these outside influences is “exhausting on a scale that I was never prepared for in raising sons,” Eckel said.

“I never considered any of this would be a possibility when I was pregnant with either of them,” she said.

Payal Desai’s sons are even younger ― 5 and 9 years old ― but she’s already worried about one of them stumbling down the pipeline of misogyny or equally dark views through TikTok, YouTube shorts or a seemingly innocuous gaming chat.

Desai’s parents are shocked by it all. They raised their kids in the 1990s and early 2000s, when such male rights-centered ideologies were more nascent and harder to come across. When boomer and Gen X parents worried about the media negatively influencing their sons, the conversation was centered on whether violent video games contributed to mass shootings in the wake of the Columbine High School attack. (They don’t, research continues to show.)

“When I talk to older parents, including my own, they’re pretty shocked by all this incel and red pill stuff,”........

© HuffPost