Why Emotional Permanence Can Be Harder For Some People With ADHD

Read this if you’re constantly concerned your partner doesn’t love you anymore.

You send your partner a text. Hours pass without a reply.

Logically, you know they’re probably busy. But emotionally, your brain starts spinning. Are they upset with you? Did you do something wrong? Do they still love you?

Most people have moments like this from time to time. But for many people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), those feelings can be much more intense, and may be tied to something often referred to as emotional permanence.

Emotional permanence is a non-clinical term used to describe the ability to hold on to the feeling that someone loves, values or cares about you even when they aren’t physically present or regularly communicating with you.

“Emotional permanence is not an officially recognised diagnostic symptom of ADHD, although many individuals with ADHD report experiencing symptoms that closely resemble it,” said therapist Stephanie Lewis.

“Many report a lack of ability to maintain the emotional reality of a relationship as long as the individual involved is not physically present or actively engaged in communication with them. The phenomenon is much more than simply forgetting another person exists; rather it involves loss of access to the feeling of being loved, valued and/or connected to another person during short periods of time.”

A delayed text, a missed call or a quiet day from a partner or friend can suddenly feel like evidence that the relationship has changed and can cause not only anxiety for the person with ADHD, but also possible friction within a relationship.

How A Lack Of Emotional Permanence Affects Relationships

People who struggle with emotional permanence don’t necessarily doubt their relationships all the time. Rather, they may suddenly feel as though an emotional connection has disappeared simply because it hasn’t been recently reinforced.

For example, someone with ADHD may intellectually know their partner loves them, but after a day without hearing from them, begin wondering whether something is........

© HuffPost