As President Trump begins an unprecedented second state visit to the UK, a familiar crisis continues to play out in Westminster that could claim the job of his new best friend, Sir Keir Starmer.

They walk among us, the honest men who keep the world safe while we are tucked up in bed.

Guardians of all that is good, these sentinels of society shun tights and capes the better to keep their true identity secret. But know this, ye men in grey suits, blue suits, and full dress kilts: in the words of the goddess Bonnie Tyler, you are the heroes we are holding out for.

Or should that be “you are the heroes for whom we are holding out”? Bleedin’ grammar. At times like these, when events in Westminster are taking A Serious Turn, it behoves us all to speak as though our every word was being recorded for posterity.

John Swinney demonstrated the style yesterday on Good Morning Scotland, and knock me down with a Virgin Atlantic boarding pass if he did not at the same time reveal himself to be one of the heroes we’ve been waiting for.

Consider the evidence. Honest John - every hero needs a handle - will tonight sup with a US president he previously slated for sandbagging

© Herald Scotland