What’s the most appalling expression you have heard people say about someone dealing with a misery of some kind?

“Others have it worse.”

It’s a long walk trying to describe the exhaustion of living in a world that never feels ‘right’. I am trying to reach out for the stars but instead am paralyzed by violent monsters with “Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder” – OCPD taking the lead and the companionship it carries in the form of frightening anxiety attacks. My life feels like a prison governed by an invisible, relentless journal of rules, symmetry and “shoulds.”

If I don’t perform a task to an impossible standard of perfection, my brain registers it as a moral failure. This isn’t about being flawless, but about an overwhelming severity that makes the simplest of days feel like navigating a minefield of possible mistakes.

This constant friction has birthed in me a “great depression.” I am tired of my own mind and feel like my own harshest jailer. I wake up already mourning the energy I’ll spend trying to control the uncontrollable and when I inevitably fail, a dreadful anxiety takes over. I want you to know that I am not choosing to........

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