Dear Auntie, I am a 35-year-old woman who has been married for seven years. My husband is a lawyer and is not from within the family. The problem is that my parents do not like my husband and never greet him properly. Since my husband has a very bad temper, he has stopped meeting them altogether and now just drops me outside their home without coming in.

The thing is that he’s too sensitive about their attitude and keeps asking me why they act in the manner that they do. I have told him many times that they are just insecure because they are not so financially well off, but he keeps pestering me day and night. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted and do not know what to do with him. Please help. Exhausted

‘My Husband and Parents Don’t Get Along’

‘My Husband and Parents Don’t Get Along’

Dear Exhausted, Your situation is more common than people like to admit and, honestly, it puts a strain on many marriages. When the people you love refuse to meet each other halfway, the responsibility falls on the person who belongs to both sides.

However, what is truly concerning is the pressure your husband is putting on you by questioning you about your parents’ behaviour. People who are hurt often want explanations for what is happening, but explanations cannot always bring relief. And you cannot keep answering the same question over and over just to calm someone down.

So no, this is not easy. You cannot change your parents’ insecurities and you cannot control your husband’s temper either. But you can change what you are willing to put up with.

To begin with, you should set a firm boundary with your husband. Do it calmly by telling him that while you understand that he feels disrespected, discussing it repeatedly is affecting your mental health and that you cannot keep dissecting it every day. Sometimes people do not realise the toll they are causing until you bring it to their attention. Also, remind him that they are your parents and that you aren’t open to hearing a tirade against them every day.

Moreover, you should stop trying to change the situation for now. If he drops you off at the parents’ house and doesn’t come in, let it be. Some time and distance can help calm egos in ways that arguments cannot. So don’t try to fix it for now. You might want to speak quietly to the parent who is more open to discussing the situation and let them know that this issue is hurting you.

At the end of the day, you should not be responsible for managing and juggling everyone’s egos, especially since all those involved are adults.

Think about where your own limits lie. And talk to yourself honestly. Not as your parents’ daughter or your husband’s wife, but as yourself, and ask how much of this you can continue to absorb before something inside you snaps. And then set limits on what you will put up with and what you won’t.g

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, February 22nd, 2026

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