I’m just a creature of habit. Sometimes that creature is a gorilla

July 25, 2026 — 5:30am

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Apparently, it’s a bad habit to cross your legs. It twists your pelvis, elevates your blood pressure and results in lower back pain. The other day someone explained the perils of crossing your legs, detailing the structure of the hominid skeleton. At one point they pulled out their masterstroke argument: “Gorillas don’t cross their knees.”

Later on, I wondered: is that right? I fell into a pensive mood. I would have crossed my knees, supercharging my thinking, except I now knew how dangerous that would be. I fantasised about seeing a gorilla with their knees crossed, just sitting there, flipping through a copy of the newspaper, which is what I often do when I have my legs crossed.

I’d also enjoy seeing a monkey bite their nails or a dolphin scratch their crotch. Human beings have so many bad habits, I’d like to think we’re not the only ones to have parts of ourselves in need of reform.

Dogs, after all, have plenty of bad habits. Some of their habits are even worse than those of humans. You won’t find me chewing on other people’s shoes or barking at children just because they’ve decided to walk past our front door. I........

© Brisbane Times