'Chest-thumping machismo': The Bayeux Tapestry reveals the bloody, bawdy truth about the Middle Ages

In the 11th-Century masterpiece's tale of a contested throne, about to be exhibited in the UK, virility is equated to power – and the largest and proudest appendage. It tells a story that feels familiar today.

The Bayeux Tapestry tells a bloody − and occasionally bawdy − story of the Norman conquest of England. The intricate masterpiece is embroidered on to 70 metres (77 yards) of flax linen, and weaves a tale of broken promises, greed and aggression that culminates in the death of King Harold II at the Battle of Hastings.

After almost 1,000 years, the iconic artwork is returning from Normandy, France to England, where it was skilfully stitched in the 1070s, and from this September is to be exhibited at the British Museum.

It's an artwork depicting a medieval version of today's digital manosphere: an ideology and world centred on hypermasculinity and men's experiences. And a world where size matters.

It is men's contributions that form the focus of the 11th-Century society the tapestry portrays. A third of its men are armed, while others are vigorously engaged in tree-felling, boatbuilding and construction. A woodcutter straddling a length of timber readies his axe, while hunters wave large clubs about their heads as they pursue their quarry. "A more testosterone-soaked scene is hard to find," Dr Christopher Monk, a cultural historian of medieval England, comments.

This suggestive display of chest-thumping machismo reveals a medieval society made for and by men, where violence settles disputes and laddish humour scores political points. Armed pillagers rampage through Hastings, and fallen soldiers in the lower margin are stripped nude for their armour, just as Harold, slain above them, is denuded of his royal claim. All of this helps communicate the heightened atmosphere of an impending confrontation between two alpha males: William, Duke of Normandy and Harold Godwinson.

If there's a recurrent motif in the iconic artwork, it's the penis. In 2018, George Garnett, professor of medieval history at Oxford University in the UK, counted 93 – mostly tumescent – specimens in the embroidery. Eighty-eight belonged to horses, and another five to men, with a pendulous scabbard (which he rules out) causing considerable debate in academic circles.

"Size matters on the Bayeux Tapestry," observes Janina Ramirez in Femina: A New History of the Middle Ages, Through the Women Written Out of It (2022). In the tapestry's tale of a contested throne, virility is equated to power and the largest and proudest appendage, she notes, "belongs to the fine stallion William is presented with on the eve of the battle". Second place goes to King Harold's mount, "the implication being that he is a worthy opponent".

Within the traditions of 11th-Century art, graphic nudity was commonplace, and it's quite possible that these penises were stitched by nuns. "They reflect what was so evident more broadly in elite medieval society – by and large, men were the primary drivers of political sovereignty," Monk tells the BBC. "The use of male genitalia, be it human or equine," he says, is "shorthand for the political machismo within the context of the transition to the new Anglo-Norman world in medieval England."

If women play a........

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