Paul Greenberg, this newspaper's late legendary editorial page editor and columnist, understood an Arkansas summer is less a season than a predicament, and that the proper response to a predicament is not necessarily to solve it, but to find some small pleasure in enduring it.

So consider this an affectionate trespass on the master's intellectual property: ways to beat the summer heat, with apologies, gratitude and the certainty that Paul would have thought of better ones.

We have reached that point in August when nobody in Arkansas needs to be told it is hot. The television weather people nevertheless tell us, standing in front of maps the color of arterial blood and using terms like "heat dome" and "feels like," as though the problem might otherwise escape our attention.

It feels like somebody left Arkansas in the back seat of a '57 Buick with the windows rolled up.

There are sensible recommendations for weather like this. Drink plenty of water. Avoid strenuous activity during the hottest part of the day. Wear loose light-colored clothing. Check on elderly neighbors. All excellent advice, and you should follow it.

But none of these address the spiritual problem of August, which is that by now we are tired of being sensible about it.

1. Go soak your head. Really. And let it air dry.

2. Attend the matinee screening of a loud and popular movie in which you have little interest.

3. Those cheap Chinese "personal air conditioners" you can get from Amazon or Temu actually work. So does a bowl of ice positioned under a vintage Zero fan.

4. Visit the collectible-wine cooler at an upscale liquor store. Consider your life choices.

5. Take the can of Bud Light you snagged at a charity scramble tournament and stuck in the back of the refrigerator two years ago. Hold it between your........

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