Politics > American Revolution

Mad King Chuck Visits the MAGA White House

Getting rid of useless kings was step one in making America great.

J.B. Shurk | May 3, 2026

Last week, this poncy English toff named Chuck gave a speech to Congress.  In his home country, they call him “Charles the Third, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of His other Realms and Territories, King, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.”  However, as he had crossed America’s moat to visit the descendants of the rebels who turned the British Empire upside down, he looked like a “Chuck” to me.

President Trump hosted Chuck at the White House with splendid pomp and circumstance.  He also greeted America’s former landlord with a contingent of Revolutionary War-attired soldiers and a huge statue of Benjamin Franklin.  The White House communications team even blasted out a Paul Revere-esque warning to Americans: “The British are coming!”  Taken together, the president’s message was polite but clear: Lovely of you to visit, and even lovelier to see you go.

I’ve never understood Americans’ fascination with the dis-United Kingdom’s “Royal Family.”  The royal family…barf.  The only “Royals” families that matter to me are the ones who support the Kansas City baseball club.  That club, by the way, is named for the “American Royal,” a cattle show that began in the Kansas City Stockyards in 1899 and a tradition that took its name — with some humor and a tip of the ol’ cowboy hat — from the Royal Agricultural Society of England’s annual “Royal Show.”  It was Missourians’ way of telling the rest of the world that, in America, horse shows, rodeos, and barbecue competitions are more important than any king.

Still, when I inspect the “pop culture” drivel spewing from the sewers of Reddit, Facebook, or podcast gabfests, I realize that a large number of Americans are enamored with the inbred idiots of Europe’s hemophiliac aristocracy.  Wealth and fame are well-known aphrodisiacs, and just as some people are attracted to Hollywood actors too........

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