Tuchel’s position looks untenable after England’s latest heartbreak
Tuchel’s position looks untenable after England’s latest heartbreak
July 16, 2026 — 8:10am
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Since he’s already in America, the best thing England manager Thomas Tuchel could do right now is call up Best Quality Vacuum, an honest-to-god small business a couple of states away in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and say the following magic words: “I need a dust filter for a Hoover MaxExtract PressurePro model 60.”
Then wait for the red Toyota van to arrive and take him away.
In the hit TV series Breaking Bad, that request is code for a service which helps criminals and fugitives escape law enforcement by providing them with a new identity and a new life in a new part of the country. If only it were real; Tuchel could use it.
What else does he do now? How could he possibly return to England as public enemy number one? Why would he not want a random red van to scoop him up and turn him into a completely different person?
Long before the first of Argentina’s two Lionel Messi-created goals in the semi-final in Atlanta, which sealed one of the greatest World Cup comeback wins, you could hear the knives being sharpened.
Why did Tuchel take off Anthony Gordon, England’s........
