The Sage of reason: Why only two teams can make the NRL grand final

June 6, 2026 — 3:00am

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Put down the glasses, I said. This NRL season is all over, I said. There are only two teams in it, I said, and Penrith will beat the Warriors in the grand final.

And what have we seen since, as this weekend marks the halfway point? Only two teams in it – Penrith and the Warriors. They played on Sunday night, and the Panthers won 20-18 in a thriller.

Is there any other team in the comp that can get close to them? There is not. Manly have been marvellous in the way they have come back since Kieran Foran took over after three losses, and Cronulla, on a good day, have bursts of greatness, as do the Roosters. But the Broncos are done, the Raiders are struggling and the Tigers feel like they have already peaked.

It will be, as I said, a Panthers-Warriors grand final, and Penrith will win it. This is why, friends, they call me The Sage.

Meantime, also in league, look for my Q and A with Mitchell Pearce online and in Sunday’s Sun-Herald. The life of the former NRL hell-raiser has taken several turns, none of which I ever even conceived on my football futures bingo card.

The life of Ryan. Or Toby?

There was an amusing yarn in the NRL last week when twin brothers Toby and Ryan Couchman from St George Illawarra pulled a prank on the press.

To mark Toby’s 50th NRL game a press conference was held and the journos dutifully took their place to ask questions – only for the nearly identical looking brothers to pull a switcheroo.

Ryan fronted instead of his brother and answered questions, struggling not to laugh, as the real Toby stood quietly up the back, equally struggling not to howl with high hilarity – until a Dragons staff member stepped in and called off the jam. And a good time was had by all.

Speaking of twins, one more time for the road. TFF has long cherished the story of what happened with twins Mark and Glen Ella on the 1983 Wallabies tour of France, when Mark was the highly esteemed captain of the side and Glen had just been dropped.

Heading out from his Parisian hotel to drown his sorrows, Glen was suddenly besieged by journalists in the foyer of the Wallabies’ hotel.

“Mark, Mark, Mark!” they asked Glen, “what do you think of France, the tour and the French side you’ll be facing on Saturday?”

So Glen tells them: “France is a shocking place, with terrible food and very ordinary looking women, while the French team are absolute crap, with backs who have no idea how to play and forwards who don’t know how to really tackle and hurt someone.”

And off he walks, into the Parisian night!

They’ve still got their marbles

For Gawd’s sake, we need some new terminology to get around having to call this long weekend the “King’s Birthday” weekend. Look, when we were little Australians, of course celebrating the birthday of an English aristocrat was what went with the territory. But we are, surely, better than that now.

Still, don’t get me started, as I have been........

© WA Today