I lost my dad three years ago. Then I discovered a super annoying extra stage of grief

March 23, 2026 — 4:30pm

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There is something missing from the widely recognised stages of grief. Developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in the late 60s, the five-stage model that includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, sadly omits guidance for bureaucratic torture.

This additional stage of grief I shall call “one flew over the executor’s nest”, is an administrative hamster wheel from hell that befalls loved ones who must finalise the deceased’s estate. This stage has no order, rather it’s a marathon that runs concurrently and beyond all the other stages, and tests the emotional fortitude of someone who, although stricken with grief, must prioritise developing a relationship with a justice of the peace.

My dad has been gone three years, and it is only now I feel I can write this article without crawling into a corner and lying in a foetal position. That, and a recent Herald article about another victim of the insane bureaucracy and cost that dying incurs, has compelled me to ask why the........

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