Like many Americans, the writer Rhaina Cohen is shopping for a home. Unlike many Americans, she’s searching for a house to live in with her friends and their families, a unique setup that sometimes raises eyebrows. One recent interaction with her realtor crystalized the disparate attitudes many people hold toward friendship versus romantic relationships.

After she explained that the home would be occupied by a group of friends, the realtor told Cohen that whenever he attempts to hang out with his own friends, they question whether he really loves his wife and kids. As if by spending time with friends, he must be denouncing his family.

“It was really interesting to see him observe this different model than what my friends and I were trying to create, which did not pit marriage and a nuclear family against friendship, but saw them as compatible,” says Cohen, the author of The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life With Friendship at the Center.

We live in a culture that often places paramount importance on romantic relationships, sometimes at the cost of friendships. Entire genres of movies and books feature love interests as the driving narrative that lead to a happy ending or offer advice on how to land a romantic partner. Dating apps are plentiful, while similar platforms for friendship are lacking.

Another study concluded that when people enter into romantic relationships, they lose two close friendships.

This societally-enforced dichotomy has real-life effects: one study found that living with a partner pushes friends away. Another concluded that when people enter into romantic relationships, they lose two close friendships. More and more, the roles of spouse and best friend are merging into one person who is expected to fulfill both platonic and romantic duties. But research shows people who have non-romantic best........

© Vox