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Why ‘Fexting’ With Your Partner Could Actually Be a Good Thing, According to Therapists

Experts say fighting over text can help couples slow down and choose their words, but it can also fuel miscommunication if the argument keeps escalating.

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Have you ever gotten into an argument with your partner while physically apart, unable to find time for a phone call or in-person discussion, so you resort to fighting via text? Yeah, apparently, there’s a term for that—fexting—and therapists have mixed opinions on it.

Fexting is exactly what it sounds like: fighting via text. Many couples opt for this method of arguing, whether because they’re in a long-distance dynamic, are conflict-avoidant, or simply prefer communicating their feelings over text. 

According to Dr. Jasmonae Joyriel, licensed clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and founder of Ignite Anew, fexting isn’t necessarily a negative habit, but the intentions behind it matter.

“It can be a tool to slow down and connect or a weapon to terrorize and destroy,” she says. “When used as a tool to slow the argument down, collect your thoughts, and distance yourself from your reactivity and insecurities,........

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