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10 Reasons I Hate (Most) Bakeries in 2026

The truth isn’t always sweet…

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There’s just so much I just can’t swallow about bakery culture in 2026. For the most part, it’s advisable to forgo the calories and instead read about madeleines, pistachio-and-coffee ice, and chocolate cakes sugared with gothic tracery by revisiting the infinitely delicious pages of Proust. Thus, I have decided to present 10 reasons why I find most bakeries so intolerable these days. Allow my agitation around how croissants are currently being mangled to emerge as one of the article’s themes. Note: I may seem grumpy, but the fact that I avoid calling anyone out by name should let you know that I’m at least a crab with a heart. If you want to hear some nice things though, then read my list of dessert spots that are worth the hype when you’re finished here.

Before diving into our main list, let’s throw out some honorable-mention pet peeves. For one, the experience of attempting to fika can be interrupted by annoying customers. By all means, chat and be merry, but you don’t need to project every word as if from a stage — trust me, your life or opinions about that new Netflix show aren’t as entertaining to other patrons as you think. On the opposite end, a privately owned business is not a library or your bedroom. Setting up your personal belongings as if the table is your personal office space is not only unhygienic, but it kills the vibe.

Speaking more to the matter of hygiene, if an employee dares to wipe their nose with their hands (or gloves), I am leaving. It seems like an absolute given that workers would know that coughing into the hands is also incredibly disgusting, but it’s something I observe quite a lot. In fact, at one highly praised eatery, I even saw an attitudinal employee picking the insides of the acrylic fashion crimes glued to her fingers while carrying on a conversation with her iPhone on speaker and ignoring customers. Be courteous and know your products — it’s astounding just how many employees have no idea what’s inside, and how to describe, the items they are serving. Granted, if you are kind enough, I can forgive management’s negligence in preparing you for your duties. What is absolutely unforgivable, on the other hand, is the managerial decision not to place any pastries out in favor of plastic displays or nothing at all.

Now, the time has finally arrived to jump into the top 10 reasons I’m currently staying away from the majority of bakeries, besides just telling you they mostly fall between a 1 and a 3 out of 10, in my estimation.

1. Lack of quality ingredients

This first one should be pretty self-explanatory. If your chocolate mousse just tastes like sugar, your vanilla seems artificial, and your matcha sponge cake is reminiscent of sweet nothingness, then what on earth are you doing? High-quality ingredients are obviously of the utmost importance. A good bakery owner should be able to talk for quite a while about the care they’ve put into choosing all the right, often imported sources. Unfortunately, a sizable portion of places prioritize profits over quality, as opposed to delivering levels of quality justified by the prices. On this topic, I’ve noticed that European businesses, when expanding to America, frequently (if not from the start, then eventually) make their desserts chokingly sweet while turning down the punch of the actual flavors advertised. News flash: Not all Americans have palates tuned to tolerate grocery store cakes.

2. Where is the artistry?

In NYC, at least, it’s almost impossible to find good entrements. They are labor-intensive and require a level of precision and (dare I say) love that most establishments simply aren’t willing to put in. Gone are the days when it’s easy to stumble upon a beacon of refinement that serves up wonders that look like they’re meant for Marie Antoinette. As life is too short not to be fussy, pastries should resemble pieces of museum-worthy art. The lack of artistry these days is........

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