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Rated and Slated: Things We Hate and Love Online This Week

Featuring Nolan’s “The Odyssey”,  the immortal male Quirk Chungus, and Bryan Johnson’s surprising pivot to death.

By Adam Christopher Smith

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Welcome to RATED AND SLATED, the column that is terminally online so you don’t have to be.Watching clips from the “most insane war in history” as if it’s footage from a video game livestream is enough to make you feel like you’re losing your mind. The sight of a Ukrainian gunner shooting down Russian Shahed attack drones from an open cockpit—with his rifle—has that brain-bending sense of feeling both real and unreal at the same time. 

They’re really just quietly having the most insane war in history https://t.co/v0utSYvqhH— st. vincent-st. marys grad (@PuckFupett69) July 25, 2026

They’re really just quietly having the most insane war in history https://t.co/v0utSYvqhH

So much so that even when I read a post claiming that the conflict, which has claimed thousands of lives, is happening “quietly,” I kind of get where they’re coming from. Almost as soon as I’d watched this spectacular battle action, it fell back into the timeline, buried beneath the unending debris of our collapsing reality.I’ve been sifting through this silent wreckage, week after week, purely for your benefit.

been thinking things over and wonder if i’ve taken this whole longevity thing too far— Bryan Johnson (@bryan_johnson) July 30, 2026

been thinking things over and wonder if i’ve taken this whole longevity thing too far

If Bryan Johnson really does feel like he’s “taken this whole longevity thing too far” then I’m extremely here for the upcoming course correction where he works out how best to optimally trash one’s own health. What if, for the rest of the year, he replaces the machine that makes every single decision in his life with the heroic ghost of John Belushi? We’re finally going to find out what is the perfect cocaine-to-heroin ratio in a speed ball—this time, according to science! 

In today’s Futurism Restated, I interviewed GB (AD 93, Posh Isolation) about his incredible new album of slippery dad rock. Discussed: cut-up methods, Copenhagen’s Rhythmic Music Conservatory, 24-track studios, Steely Dan, Meredith Monk, fretless bass pic.twitter.com/F6MtXuQtUB— Philip Sherburne (@PhilipSherburne) July 28, 2026

In today’s Futurism Restated, I interviewed GB (AD 93, Posh Isolation) about his incredible new album of slippery dad rock. Discussed: cut-up methods, Copenhagen’s Rhythmic Music Conservatory, 24-track studios, Steely Dan, Meredith Monk, fretless bass pic.twitter.com/F6MtXuQtUB

After many years of neglect I’ve finally started training the tiny muscles in the ear that allow you to appreciate Steely Dan. So I’m in good shape to enjoy the music of GB, whose upcoming Herzsprung album is inspired by “The Dan” and Dire Straits. Months of working out to Aja means my musical IQ has never been higher, but all my real muscle has withered, so I’ll need to be careful not to get so into this record that I drop a 2.5kg dumbbell on my head.  

CHAOTIC SEX COMEDY FOR A SEX-CAUTIOUS AGE

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If Gregg Araki is as sex positive as he claims to be then he won’t have a problem getting........

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